Sunglasses at Night
by SuicunesRibbonButt
Summary: Eusine cries to Morty about Suicune. The two men then embark on a grand adventure based on the lie Morty told his buddy. No yaoi...if anything maybe some undertones but I'll see how it goes. There will probably only be a few chapters.
1. And So It Begins

Morty awoke to someone banging on his back door. He had just fallen asleep on his couch after smokin' some SICK ASS dope and was confused as to what the sound he heard was. He automatically assumed that Rum Tum Tugger, the curious cat from the musical _Cats_, had arrived at his house to slay him.

"OH SHIT! I KNEW THIS DAY WAS COMING!" Morty jumped frantically off his couch and ran over to his hall closet, where he kept a baseball bat. He put the bat aside for this situation specifically. Ever since Eusine had made him go see _Cats, _Morty had a feeling that Rum Tum Tugger was out to get him. It could have just been the fact that Morty was flying high when he saw the musical, but no matter. He was a mystic seer for God's sake! He knew this day was coming. The gym leader snuck through his hallway to the front door, swatting Gengar out of the way as the ghost popped out of the wall. Morty wasn't in the mood for his Pokemon's actions right now. He was strictly business. As he approached the door, the stoner's heart was nearly pounding out of his chest. These could be the last breaths he could ever take. He lifted his shaky hand and rested it on the doorknob, slowly starting to turn. "I never wanted my life to end at the hands of a singing cat." His mind was racing. Slowly but surely, he opened the door.

"OH MY GOD MORTY HELP ME I'M AT MY WIT'S END."

It was only Eusine.

"Dude…..calm down" Morty was a bit disappointed. He kind of wanted to duke it out with ol' rum Tum Tugger. Instead, he got to see his crazy friend looking a mess and nearly in tears. Eusine leaped forward and embraced his dazed friend.

"I…I just need to talk to someone."

"Fine…..come in and sit down. It's not like I was doing anything important." Morty lied. He thought what he was doing was very important. Sleep trumps everything. Eusine ran into Morty's living room and plopped down on the couch, with Morty slowly walking after him. "So….what's your problem?"

"Morty! No one is listening to me! My mom told me to stop acting so childish, my girlfriend doesn't understand, and everyone else thinks I'm cray cray!"

"Wait….what you got a girl?"

"That's not the point! Just listen to me! My whole life. MY WHOLE LIFE, I have been searching for my one true love, Suicune. Why can't I find it, Morty? Why? Tell me." By this time, tears were running down Eusine's face. Like he lost something that he couldn't replace. Hopefully lights would guide him home but at the moment, Morty just stared at his friend. They have been through this scenario seven hundred and fifty two times. Frankly, Morty was getting sick of dealing with it. The ghost trainer stood and and ruffled his friend's hair, making it more messy than it was before.

"You'll be okay, kid."

"Morty stop you tell me that all the time. Things are different this time. I've been having fantasies, Morty. FANTASIES. I can't get them out of my head. I'm gonna go insane."

That last part really got to Morty. It could have been the weed working its magic, but Morty burst out laughing.

"Ha ha HAHahaHAH dude you're already insane what are you talking about?"

"I'm serious. Look into the future or something. Tell me what I could do to grab my baby's attention."

Just then, a commercial for CuddleUppets came on the TV. Eusine stopped complaining for a second and stared at the TV.

"Morty…..they all look like you."

"That's not the first time I've heard that," Morty said in reply as he was wrapping up another sweet joint.

"Back to what I was saying, though," Eusine turned to look Morty dead in the eyes. Morty shivered. It felt like Eusine was staring into his soul. "Tell me, Morty. Tell me what Suicune wants to see. What gets its motor running? How can I please my constant Suicune boner?"

"Stop."

"This means everything to me. I've been looking for Suicune since I was a teenager."

"You need help."

"Yeah…help from YOU!"

Morty sighed. He obviously wasn't gonna be left alone until he told Eusine what he wanted to hear. Just that second, Morty had an epiphany. "_Man…..Eusine is so desperate. I wonder if I could get anything out of him?_" Morty liked this thought. He always acted Jewish when it came to money and possessions.

"Aww gee Eusine….I don't know if I could do this for you. My mind is so cluttered with other information right now. It's gonna be really hard to find what you want."

"I'll do ANYTHING!"

"Hmm….anything you say? Buy me Dragon Ball Z on DVD. That is the only thing that will make me happy."

"You still watch that shit? Lame."

"Just do it. I won't tell you if you don't."

"Fine fine fine. Just spit it out!" By this time, Eusine was on the edge of his seat, staring at Morty with some kind of weird lust in his eyes. Weirdo.

"Suicune likes sunglasses. He desires a master with sunglasses. If you want to catch Suicune's attention, you must hunt for it while wearing sunglasses." Morty was spewing bullshit but Eusine would never know. All that mattered is that Morty would have something else to watch while stoned.

"Oh. My. LAWRD! IT WAS THAT SIMPLE? Morty, you're a life saver! I love ya bro, I really do." Eusine stood up and shook Morty's hand before he pulled his friend into a bro-hug. "I'll see you tomorrow so we can go down to Goldenrod Department Store and get sunglasses!" Eusine automatically assumed that Morty was going to go shopping with him. He wasn't gonna take no for an answer.

Morty groaned and threw himself back on his couch as Eusine strutted out of the house, head held high.

After he prayed in his Suicune shrine, Eusine snuggled all up in his bed, as visions of Suicune danced through his head.


	2. More of this junk

THE SECOND DAY

Morty woke up on the floor. As usual, he couldn't remember how he got there or why he couldn't make it to his bed. He was used to it. He sat up and just kind of glanced around his living room. Everything seemed to be in order. His balls containing a few of his Pokemon were on his coffee table, Gengar was sitting in a chair eating beef jerky, and the TV was still on. It gave Morty peace of mind to know that he didn't have a crazy party that he forgot about the night before. The gym leader slowly stood up, still a bit in a haze, and decided to take a cold shower to wake up a bit.

Morty thought he would have some alone time. Just some time to zone out a bit more than usual and think about life for a while. _Why do apricorns exist? Why do people have legs? What if I needed to staple a bunch of papers but didn't have any staples? Can Chinese people fly? _ These were the questions that haunted him. His alone time was quickly interrupted by an obnoxious car horn outside and the even louder voice of his BFF.

"MORTY ARE YOU READY TO GO SHOPPING? COME ON WE HAVE A BIG DAY AHEAD OF US!" Suddenly, Morty heard his front door open and before the poor guy knew it, Eusine was standing next to the shower, hitting the curtain with his hand. "COME ONNNN MORTY! IT DOESN'T TAKE THIS LONG TO SHOWER!" Morty just about had it with Eusine. He was about to knock Eusine to the ground but then he realized that doing so would involve getting out of the shower, which he didn't want to do for obvious reasons.

"Maybe if you go sit in my living room and wait for me, I'll be done faster. It will be kind of hard to get dressed with you standing right next to me. I don't know what you would try to pull if I stepped out of the shower right now." Morty just decided to tell it how it is. He was just that type of person. He speaks the truth, even if he was kind of blunt about it.

"Fine. But don't go dicking around all willy nilly just to piss me off!" Eusine had a way with words.

Morty just threw on a t-shirt and jeans and called it a day. He had no one to impress. Especially not Eusine. Anyway, the gym leader walked into his living room only to find his buddy sitting on the floor looking through a bunch of DVDs. Probably looking for Suicune documentaries. Morty just sighed. "Ready to go, Eusine?" Just then, Morty remembered that it was Whitney's day off and she would probably be at the Goldenrod Department store. "Uhmmm hey are you up for adventure Eusine?" Morty knew that adventures were Eusine's weakness. Adventures made him feel like he was 12 again.

"OH MY GOD MORTY YEAH!" Eusine was easily excitable. The littlest things made him go crazy.

"Okay so how about we go to the Celadon Department Store? Crazy fun, right?"

Eusine just looked at his friend. "Morty…..is….is….that your idea of an adventure? I can't go there! My mom is seriously there all the time! God, if she sees that I still haven't caught Suicune and I've pretty much accomplished nothing. Wow. I would never hear the end of it. She'd probably stop her credit card so I can't use it any more. That's my only source of money, Morty. My mom's credit card. And god forbid I see my sister there. Me going to Celadon city is like playing Russian roulette."

"Okay so where are you going with this exactly?"

"Morty, I'm not stepping a foot into Celadon city. Your idea of adventure is lame. I know you're just trying to hide from Whitney."

And so Morty sighed and the two men headed out the door to Eusine's hot rod.

Eusine might be the foremost expert of Suicune but he definitely wasn't the foremost expert of driving. He ended up double parking. Morty was 1009029403% positive that someone would key dat shit but it's cool because Eusine's car was a piece of crap anyway.

Ah the Goldenrod department store. It was pretty much like a huge Target but a bit fancier. It still had the magical aroma of a Target, though. Morty and Eusine walked in the store like they owned the fucking place. Mad $w4qq. They may have been confident in their entrance, but both men had NO idea where the sunglasses were. Hell, Morty even forgot that he told Eusine that lie about Suicune liking sunglasses. He also had no idea why Eusine didn't have sunglasses already. Suddenly, Morty broke away from thinking about life's questions when he realized Ms. New Booty was playing over the intercom. That was his jam! The sick beats took control of him. He started grinding up against Eusine.

"Get it right, get it right get it tight!"

"Morty stop I'm not in the mood for this."

Gee, what a party pooper Eusine was sometimes. But why was he being a party pooper about this? This was THEIR SONG! Many a times were they both drunk at one of Whitney's parties and made fools of themselves to Ms. New Booty. Morty just decided that Eusine was having one of those days where Suicune was the only thing on his mind and continued to follow his friend up and down the aisles.

"MORTY! THERE THEY ARE! LET'S GO!" Eusine obviously found where the sunglasses were. "And look! They're right by the scarves too! You're probably happy about that!" Eusine exclaimed while nudging Morty.

"Eusine please. I don't wear scarves all the time. I'm not wearing one today you know!"

"Whatever. I was just being considerate. The world doesn't revolve around me ALL the time you know."

"Just get what you want. I'm going to look at the DVDs." And so the two parted ways.

5 minutes later, the two bros met up again with a heart-touching embrace. However, that moment of serenity didn't last very long. Out of the corner of his eye, Eusine saw Whitney.

"Uhmmm heyyyyy Morty? Uhh yeah Whitney's here."

"Fuck."

And with that, the two losers jumped into a clothes rack.

"Eusine listen to me!" Morty grabbed his friend by the shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. "She can't see me! No no no no I broke her heart 2 weeks ago I'm not ready for her yet! She has a bit of a temper, god knows what she'll do to me!"

"Calm down man. Let's just sit here and keep watch until she's gone. Then we can run over to the aisle over there. She was already down there; we'll be safe and sound."

10 minutes later, our heroes were still sitting in the same place.

"Is this your card?"

"For the last time, no. It's like you think the clothes rack will make you a better magician or something. Eusine, you have way too many false hopes."

"Wait Morty forget my magic skills for a minute and look! Whitney's gone!"

Without even thinking, Morty leaped out of the rack and made a run for it, grabbing a shopping cart and gliding on it all the way to the herb aisle. Seeing all the Pokemon healing herbs gave Morty cravings for his own herbs. He ditched the cart and darted towards the bathrooms, where he lit up a doobie and faded away.

Eusine found him in what seemed like hours later.

"Have you been sitting on the bathroom floor playing with the foamy soap since you split up from me?"

"Dude calm down…..Whitney's not here that's all that matters man."

"Come one let's pay and get out of here before big bad officer Falkner catches you."

"Nahhh Falkner's coo' he's let me off many times we go wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy back."

"Fine." And so, Eusine paid for two pairs of sunglasses (one for him and one for Suicune obviously), a bag of Doritos, a can of iced tea, and a Dragon Ball Z DVD. Eusine was such a nice guy, offering to pay for all of Morty's shit and all. It's not like it even mattered since he was using his mom's credit card.

So the stoner and magician were off again, but this time, they were on a bootyquest for Suicune.

* * *

Goodness sorry that was pretty lame I kind of had writer's block. The next chapter is pretty much the only reason why I started writing this in the first place so hopefully it will be better than this junk. Or maybe I shouldn't have been trying to write this while watching TV. That might have helped. With the flow/ideas. Whatevs


End file.
